Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
