How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
True strength comes from lack of pants
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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