i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
