He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
