i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
