If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
