i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
