I can text with my tongue
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
