they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
