sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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