Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she peed on how many people?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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