The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
