the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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