Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
