I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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