i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
