margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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