hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
