gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
