dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
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I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
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Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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