worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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