i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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