I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
