now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize