Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
