Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
