There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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