We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
