Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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