I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
