I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
where am i from again
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
