The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
