I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
