I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
