It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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