I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
