i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
