why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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