so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
