i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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