I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
