Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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