hotel room ftw
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
