i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
