we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize