I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
