man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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