sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
