It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
