i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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