i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
