I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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