Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
