Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
