The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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