Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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