her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
