ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
