the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
