bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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