I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize