TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It was confusing and full of hummus
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
