you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
