I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
